Step 3 of the 12 Steps to Trauma Recovery

Trauma leaves indelible marks on the soul, shaping the way we see the world, others, and even ourselves. It disrupts the natural rhythm of our lives, leaving us feeling disoriented and adrift in a storm of pain and confusion. In the face of such overwhelming experiences, it can feel impossible to envision a way forward. Step 3 of the 12-step framework offers a profound and transformative path: “Made a decision to turn our healing journey over to this power, however we understand it, trusting it will guide us.” This step is not only a call to action but an invitation to embrace surrender, trust, and connection with something greater than ourselves.

Surrendering, in this context, is not about giving up but about letting go of the illusion of total control. Trauma often leaves us clinging desperately to control as a way of protecting ourselves. We create rigid structures in our minds, build emotional walls, and try to anticipate every potential threat. While these responses may have been necessary for survival in the moment, they often hinder our ability to heal in the long term. By deciding to turn our healing journey over to a higher power, however we define or understand it, we release the need to micromanage every aspect of our recovery. We acknowledge that we cannot heal in isolation and that there is wisdom beyond our own.

The concept of a higher power can be deeply personal. For some, it may be rooted in religious or spiritual beliefs, while for others, it might manifest as the collective wisdom of a supportive community, the natural flow of the universe, or even the healing potential within oneself. There is no singular or correct way to define this power. What matters is that it represents something outside and greater than the limits of our pain, fear, and ego. Trauma often narrows our worldview, making it difficult to see beyond our immediate struggles. Invoking a higher power helps us expand our perspective and connect to something that fosters hope and trust.

The decision to turn our journey over to this power is an act of courage. It requires us to step away from our instinct to control and trust that healing will unfold as it is meant to. This trust can feel counterintuitive, especially for those whose trauma stems from betrayal, abandonment, or systemic harm. Trust, for many survivors, is a scarce and fragile resource. But this step isn’t about blind faith; it’s about cultivating a relationship with trust, gradually and intentionally. It allows us to explore the possibility that even though the world may have shown us its harshest side, there is still a guiding force capable of leading us toward wholeness.

Turning over our healing journey also means accepting that we don’t have all the answers and that it’s okay not to know everything. Trauma often drives us to seek certainty as a way of feeling safe. We analyze, question, and scrutinize every experience, searching for patterns or explanations to prevent further harm. But healing is not linear, nor is it something we can fully understand or control. By trusting in a higher power, we acknowledge that some answers may remain elusive and that this is not a sign of failure but of the complexity of life itself.

This step also invites us to embrace vulnerability, which is integral to healing. Vulnerability often feels dangerous to trauma survivors because it means exposing parts of ourselves that we have worked so hard to protect. Yet, it is through vulnerability that we connect with others, with ourselves, and with the higher power guiding us. To turn our journey over to this power, we must be willing to confront our fears, doubts, and wounds. We must allow ourselves to be seen—not only by others but by whatever force we believe holds us in its care.

The act of turning over our journey to a higher power does not absolve us of responsibility for our healing. It is not about passivity or waiting for an external force to fix us. Instead, it is about co-creation. We take active steps toward recovery while trusting that the power we’ve entrusted will provide guidance, strength, and clarity when needed. This trust is the foundation upon which we build our efforts. It is the belief that no matter how dark the path may seem, there is light to be found.

For many, this step also involves reconciling with the concept of surrender. In trauma recovery, surrender is not synonymous with weakness or submission; it is an active choice to let go of resistance. Trauma often instills a fight-or-flight response that becomes ingrained in our lives long after the initial threat has passed. Surrendering means releasing that hypervigilance, trusting that we are no longer in the same danger, and allowing ourselves to rest in the assurance that we are supported.

To truly embrace this step, we must also confront our relationship with trust. Trauma can fracture our ability to trust—ourselves, others, and the world. Rebuilding trust is a gradual process that starts with small acts of faith. Trusting a higher power doesn’t require an immediate leap; it begins with incremental steps, like trusting that our breath will continue to sustain us, that the sun will rise tomorrow, or that we are capable of taking the next step in our healing. Over time, these small moments of trust can compound into a deep and abiding faith in the power guiding us.

In practical terms, this step can manifest in many ways. It might mean setting aside time for meditation, prayer, or quiet reflection, inviting the presence of the higher power into our consciousness. It could involve participating in a support group or therapy, trusting that these spaces are part of the guidance we seek. It might even mean allowing ourselves to experience joy and hope, trusting that these emotions are not fleeting illusions but glimpses of the wholeness we are moving toward.

One of the most transformative aspects of this step is the sense of relief it offers. Carrying the burden of trauma and recovery alone can feel like an impossible task. Turning our journey over to a higher power allows us to share the weight of that burden, trusting that we are not alone in our struggle. This sense of shared responsibility can be profoundly healing, reminding us that we are held and supported, even in our darkest moments.

As we move through this step, we begin to notice subtle shifts in our perspective. We might find ourselves becoming more open to new possibilities, more willing to take risks, or more patient with the process of healing. Trusting in a higher power does not mean that our journey will be free from challenges or setbacks. However, it does mean that we approach these difficulties with the knowledge that we are not alone and that there is a greater purpose guiding our path.

This step is also an invitation to embrace the mystery of life. Trauma often leaves us yearning for certainty, but the act of turning over our healing journey requires us to find peace in not knowing. It asks us to accept that healing is not a destination but a continuous unfolding, a process that cannot be rushed or fully understood. By trusting in the higher power we’ve chosen, we allow ourselves to be present with the journey, appreciating its lessons and growth along the way.

Ultimately, Step 3 is about reclaiming a sense of hope. Trauma can make the future feel bleak and unchangeable, but this step reminds us that healing is always possible. By turning our journey over to a higher power, we affirm our belief in transformation, growth, and the possibility of a life beyond pain. We may not know what that life will look like, but we trust that it is worth pursuing.

As we continue on this path, we begin to see evidence of the power we’ve entrusted in action. It might be the unexpected kindness of a stranger, the comforting words of a friend, or a moment of clarity that guides us toward the next step. These signs reinforce our trust and remind us that we are not walking this journey alone.

Step 3 is a turning point in trauma recovery. It is the moment we choose to release control, embrace trust, and surrender to the guidance of a power greater than ourselves. It is not an easy step, but it is a profoundly liberating one. By making this decision, we open ourselves to the transformative potential of healing, allowing hope and light to enter even the darkest corners of our lives.