Have you ever thought about what ‘normal’ means? Sometimes, what feels normal isn’t always healthy or right. This idea might seem tough to think about, but understanding it can help us grow and feel better about ourselves and our relationships.
What Does ‘Normal’ Mean?
‘Normal’ means what we’re used to. If something happened a lot when we were kids, we might think that’s just how life works. But just because something was common doesn’t mean it was good or fair.
For example, imagine someone grew up in a home where people didn’t talk about feelings or where there was a lot of arguing. Since that happened all the time, they might believe that ignoring feelings or arguing is just how families work. It might feel ‘normal,’ but it doesn’t mean it was healthy.
What Every Child Needs
Every child needs love, safety, and care. These are like the building blocks of a happy, healthy life. If a child doesn’t get these things, their mind might adjust by thinking, “This is just the way life is.” They might believe it’s normal not to feel safe or loved.
Why This Matters Now
Even when we grow up, our early experiences still affect us. If someone learned as a child that talking about feelings wasn’t okay, they might have trouble sharing emotions as an adult. If they grew up with a lot of arguments, they might think constant fighting is just part of every relationship.
It’s Not About Blame
Thinking about these things isn’t about blaming anyone. Parents and caregivers do their best with what they know. This is about understanding ourselves better. When we see how our past shaped us, we can choose what we want to change.
Creating a New ‘Normal’
The good news is that we’re not stuck with the old ideas of what’s ‘normal.’ We can learn new ways of thinking, feeling, and relating to others. We can build healthier relationships and feel more at peace with ourselves.
How to Start
- Notice Patterns: Pay attention to what feels ‘normal’ in your life. Is it helping or hurting you?
- Be Kind to Yourself: Remember, everyone has things to work on. You’re doing something brave by thinking about your past.
- Learn New Skills: It’s okay to ask for help from friends, family, or even a counselor. Learning better ways to communicate or manage feelings can make a big difference.
- Practice Patience: Change takes time, and small steps count.
You Can Heal and Grow
Your past doesn’t define you. Even if you didn’t get what you needed as a child, you can create a new life filled with love, respect, and understanding. You have the power to shape your future, no matter where you started. Every step you take toward healing and growth is a step toward a better, healthier ‘normal.’